Adolescent Anxiety: How Do I Help My Teen?
Adolescence is a time of enormous change. As young people move through their teenage years, they experience shifts in their bodies, brains, emotions, and social worlds. While these changes are a normal part of development, they can sometimes feel overwhelming and contribute to heightened levels of stress and anxiety.
Parents often ask: “How do I best support my teenager when they are anxious?” The good news is that there are practical strategies you can use to strengthen your connection with your teen and help them build resilience.
Understanding Adolescent Development
During adolescence, the brain is undergoing significant rewiring. Areas responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, and impulse control are still developing, while the emotional centres of the brain are highly active. This often explains why teenagers can experience intense emotions and why anxiety may peak during these years.
At the same time, young people are striving for independence and identity formation. They begin to pull away from parents while relying more on peers. This shift can make it harder for parents to know how to stay connected and supportive, especially when anxiety or other mental health concerns arise.
Supporting Teens Through Emotional Connection
Research shows that the quality of the parent–teen relationship has a powerful influence on adolescent mental health. One evidence-based approach to strengthening this relationship is the Tuning in to Teens program. This parenting program focuses on emotionally intelligent parenting, giving parents tools to respond to their teen’s emotions in supportive ways.
Here are some key principles that can help if your teenager is experiencing anxiety:
1. Notice and Name Emotions
Pay attention to your teen’s emotional cues, even the subtle ones. Naming emotions such as “I can see you’re worried about your presentation tomorrow” can help your teen feel understood and less alone.
2. Validate Before You Problem-Solve
When your teen is anxious, it can be tempting to jump in with solutions. Instead, pause to acknowledge their feelings first: “That sounds really stressful.” Validation builds trust and helps teens feel safe to share more.
3. Stay Calm and Present
Teens often mirror the emotional tone of their parents. By staying calm and grounded, you model emotional regulation and provide a sense of stability when they feel overwhelmed.
4. Support Problem-Solving Together
Once your teen feels heard, you can gently explore coping strategies together—whether that’s breaking tasks into smaller steps, practising calming techniques, or seeking professional support when needed.
5. Encourage Independence, Not Avoidance
While it’s important to be supportive, try not to shield your teen from all stressful situations. Instead, encourage them to face challenges gradually, with your encouragement alongside them. This builds confidence and resilience.
When to Seek Extra Support
If your teen’s anxiety is persistent, interferes with daily life, or is causing significant distress, it may be time to seek professional help. Counselling or therapy can give your teenager a safe space to explore their worries, develop coping skills, and strengthen their emotional wellbeing.
Final Thoughts
Adolescent anxiety is common, but parents are not powerless. By tuning in to your teen’s emotions and offering understanding and connection, you help create the foundation for resilience. Remember—what your teen needs most is not a perfect parent, but a parent who listens, validates, and stays present with them.